i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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