Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
as a side note pls kill me
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