Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize