In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
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if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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