She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I need to calm my uterus...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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