I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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