is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize