ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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