The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
there's paper in my vomit.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize