I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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