okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize