i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize