You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
3pm strippers are depressing
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize