my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize