I would go down on you faster than GM stock
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize