Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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