The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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