just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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