then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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