guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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