no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize