just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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