I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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