so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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