He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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