this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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