I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
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I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
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Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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