im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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