I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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