You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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