I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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