maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
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There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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