nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize