you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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