ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize