omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
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two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
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I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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