Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
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There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
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I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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