I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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