All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
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I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
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I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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