so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize