I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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