I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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