Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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