I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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