i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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