I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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