yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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