stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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