four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize