My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize