Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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