Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize