so that wasnt chicken after all
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
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